What If One Intensive Isn't Enough?

Ashley Gray, LCSW, MFTC

Some people pursue therapy intensives hoping that will be the only intensive that they will have to do. And that might be the case for them. However, if you have tried one therapy intensive and you think it might be time for another, you might be right.

If you're unsure of what a therapy intensive is, it is a 3-6 hour day or sometimes multiple days that are focused on you and your therapy related concerns. This day can be focused on one presented concern, it can be structured as an EMDR Intensive, Couples Intensive, Premarital Intensive, Family Intensive or pretty much anything you can think of.

The brilliance of a therapy intensive is that it allows you to do months of work in a day's time. This is because you're not having to start each hour catching up on what has happened or winding down at the end of 50 minutes. You have a whole day, so you can cover much more material. This makes it possible to end the intensive with much greater clarity on where you're at, what you're needing and what next steps are for you outside of therapy.

Some people choose this route, if they travel a lot for work, so weekly therapy feels too difficult. Or if they have a wedding coming up or they simply just want to do more work in a shorter timeframe.

Sometimes, after some time has passed, some people find that they might want to do some more work. This doesn't mean that the intensive didn't work. Intensives aren't usually meant to resolve everything in just one intensive. Though they can help you get over big hurdles, so that you can have greater clarity and you know what steps to take in your life outside of therapy. Sometimes you take those steps, then experience new, healthier patterns in your life and then life happens. Things take place outside of your control, that you couldn't have predicted would occur and it might illuminate areas of your life that you couldn't have seen until these new events took place. Then it could be time to return to a therapy intensive.

Some examples of why people may come in for a second intensive are things like:

• Wanting support navigating a change in relationship status or dynamic. This could include getting engaged, separating, having kids, etc.

  
  

• Needing assistance processing through a trauma like a betrayal (financial, infidelity, difference in expectations, etc), death, car accident, health concerns, to name a few.

  
  

• If you learn new details of past events that change how you view the relationship and feel that processing through this information with a therapist present could be helpful.

• Processing a difficult break-up or figuring out how to break-up amicably.

  
  

What Is The Best Way To Approach A Second Intensive?

While the work of making sure your second therapy intensive is a success, is your therapist's job, there are a few things you can do to set yourself up for success.

1. Share about what you have covered already and make sure you are building off of that.

2. If you are using a completely new approaching with an entirely new therapist, be clear about what has and hasn't worked in the past.

3. Be clear about what you want to achieve. If you don't know how to articulate that, ask your therapist for some help coming up with the right goal.

4. Ask all the questions that you need to.

   
   

You can also book more than one intensive day at a time if you anticipate you might need more than one. Discuss this further with your therapist to find the best course of action for your goals. Every therapist offers different types of intensives with different structures. If you're located in Colorado and would be interested in an intensive with a therapist who specializes in working with couples, you can read more about my intensives below.

My Approach To Intensives

I offer intensives for both individuals and couples. For individuals, I offer EMDR intensives, especially for those wanting to process past relationships hurts and endings that they were never able to fully move past. This might be due to abuse in the relationship, a sudden break-up, being ghosted, be cheated on, not getting closure, or some other significant event that occurred in the relationship. The intensive helps clients process through the hurt, so that they no longer feel like this past relationship experience keeps them from engaging in relationships they way that they want to.

For my couples intensives, I offer premarital/pre-engagement intensives to help couples either determine if they are ready to get engaged or help prepare them with the skills that they need for marriage. I also offer couples intensives to help couples decide whether they should stay together or break-up using my stay-or-go therapy approach. I also offer therapy intensives that help couples process through a betrayal and work towards building trust again.

In my, one day, six hour intensives, I a free 30 minute video consult, weeks before the intensvie to make sure we're a good fit. This is also a time where we can tweak the itinerary to make sure it fits your individual goals. During the therapy intensive, I provide snacks and beverages and breaks, as needed, throughout the day. We will spend the day processing through your experiences and emotions, learning and practicing new skills. At the end of your intensive, we will discuss what next steps in your progress will look like after the intensive. You will also receive follow-up resources like book recommendations, worksheets, pdfs, podcast episode recommendations and a therapeutic gift that will help you continue your work. Following our intensive we will have a follow up session, to see how things have going since your intensive. The follow up session is included in the intensive price.

If you would like to work with me for your next therapy intensive, reach out using the contact buttons at the top of this page.

I'm wishing you the best on your journey! :)

This post is written by Ashley Gray, a licensed therapist in Arvada, Colorado. Ashley works with individuals and couples using Gottman Method Couples Therapy, EMDR Trauma Therapy, Prepare and Enrich Premarital Therapy, attachment focused therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy, Couples Intensives and EMDR Intensives. As a therapist, she is passionate about helping people build healthy relationships and supporting people with the resources they need. In her free time, Ashley hikes, paddle boards, reads, spends time with her husband and her cuddly dog. For more information about Ashley and her practice, click here.