You Don't Have to Feel Miserable
Loneliness and overwhelm take the place of the confidence, levity and peace that you once experienced in your relationship. You find yourself in the place of not knowing what to do next. You dread the conversation you don’t want to have, but you know you need to. You need answers. You need communication. You NEED connection, but you don’t know where to start. You keep reaching out and they keep pulling away. You keep searching for answers and find yourself even more confused. You know that this relationship is worth saving, you just want to know what to do next.
You are not broken. You are not bad. It isn’t about your mistakes, it is about how you decide to repair them.
Tools for Growth
Together we can learn to heal. I will collaborate with you and your partner to identify your problem areas, toxic patterns, strengths and true needs. We will counter your struggles with proven strategies that will allow you to communicate effectively with your partner, understand how you and your partner get stuck and how to find your way out together. You can bring your toughest conflicts into session and we will practice skills in real time. When you choose online therapy, you’ll even be able to practice your new skills in the exact spots that your fights start. You’ll receive pdf’s, quizzes, assessment results and visuals from me to help you implement your positive changes at home. I work mostly from Gottman Method with my couples. To learn more about Gottman Method, read below.
You will do your best work as a couple with a therapist that you like, trust and feel comfortable with. Reach out to me for your free 15 minute phone consultation to see if I am the right fit for you.
Want more information about what to expect in session? Scroll further down the page for an overview of the sessions.
What to Expect in Session
Beginnings can be tough. So, I thought I would give you the run down of what the first few couples sessions will look like. After you complete the first session paperwork online, you will have your first session.
In our first session, we will go over the finer details of the paperwork, address any questions and then jump into how the two of you met and what is bringing you into therapy. I also send my couples a Gottman Connect assessment to complete after our first session. This assessment will give me a more detailed overview of what is going on for the two of you. You will also receive a pdf of the results and tools that will be helpful for you given the results of the assessment.
Our second and third session, we will complete a family map, so that I can understand where your strong and tense relationships are, what major events you have experienced in your life and patterns in family dynamics. We will also discuss your supportive friendships.
I like to do the family maps with one partner at a time, where I meet with one partner during the second session and the other partner the third session. This will also give me the opportunity to hear more about your unique experience in the relationship.
Our fourth session, we will get specific in setting the goals that you have for therapy and start to review the results from your Gottman assessment report.
Throughout these sessions and in the sessions that follow we will also be discussing what is going on for you and what you are currently needing based on what you’re experiencing. We will be practicing the Gottman based skills that you need during our time together to make it easier to use the skills at home. I will be giving you homework, pdfs, app/book/podcast recommendations along the way to supplement our time together.
What Gottman Method Therapy Can Do For YOU
Before we talk about what it can do, I want to talk about what Gottman Method Therapy is. Gottman Method therapy is a therapeutic approach for couples therapy that is based on over 40 years worth of research. Dr’s John and Julie Gottman have perfected their approach to be able to predict, with a high level of accuracy (over 90% !!!), which couples will stay together for the next 6 years, which couples will split up. Based on this work they have created frameworks from everything from how to fight respectfully and with resolve, to compromise, to building resiliency, to how to create an enduring friendship and how to plan for the future. You will receive these formats from me in pdf form, so that you will always have them on hand. The Gottman’s therapeutic approach is based on the Gottman Sound Relationship House, which you can find here along with more information about the Gottman Method.
Your introduction to the Gottman Method will begin with you and your partner completing a Gottman assessment, which will give us a snapshot of you and your partner fair in the principles of the Gottman Method. Each section will be broken down into a strength or a challenge area. I, as your therapist, will give you tools that we will practice in our sessions that will help you improve on each area. You will be emailed a copy of this report and you will have the opportunity to take the assessment again, 6 months from the first time you completed the assessment, to see how you have improved.
I have completed levels 1&2 of Gottman Method therapy and I love how approachable the system is for my clients. When we first begin practicing the formats and principles in session, it feels awkward to follow steps when arguing or connecting. It never fails though, that my clients become so comfortable with the steps that they don’t even have to think about them anymore. They are able to engage in healthier communication and honest connection as though it is second nature.
Being trained in the Gottman method also prepares me for all types of concerns that couples face, such as trauma, affairs, various stages of relationship development, etc.
Whether you’re a couple looking to grow closer through a straight-forward, proven approach or an individual who wants to strengthen their relationship skills, the Gottman Method can work for you.
If you’re looking for a place to get started with Gottman Method tips, try subscribing for the Gottman Method Marriage Minute email list, here . You can also check out the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D and Nan Silver ( https://www.gottman.com/product/the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work/ ).
Feel free to check out some of my other couples therapy specialties below!