Confusion about things that you feel like you should know keeps you from heading in the “right” direction. You’ve always known that there is good in you and you can do great things, but lately you’ve been doubting it. It is hard to know what the next right step is when the world feels so unstable. All of this can be soooo anxiety producing, making you feel like you have to be on top of everything you do without making any mistakes. Leaving you feeling so fatigued all you have energy for at the end of the day is more binge watching.
There IS STILL good in you. You can still achieve/experience great things. To get there you’re going to have to put you first for a change.
Therapy is where prioritizing you and your needs will begin. We’ll start your journey by looking at your core motivations, your life story, the impact of your environment and relationships and whether your actions are aligned with your goals. Therapy will also be a place for you to process your unique emotions and experiences. You will receive tools from me both in session and outside of session. We will practice skills in session and outside of sessions, you will receive pdfs, quizzes, book and podcast recommendations and whatever else you might be needing.
Ready to take the next step? Got questions? Reach out to me for your free 15 minute phone consultation to get your questions answered and see if I am the right fit for you.
My Approach to Individual Therapy
I like to go beyond just talking and listening with my clients (though that is important, too :) ). I like to give my clients tools and practice techniques that are backed by research. I then go further by giving homework and sharing resources that you can take home to make the sessions work for you outside of our time together. Below are some of the key things that I like to engage my clients in.
Perhaps you have had some negative experiences in your past like a bad relationship or some traumatic events. What often happens in situations like that is we learn from those in our life how to talk negatively to ourselves. Without realizing it, we practice those negative scripts over and over again. As we practice these scripts it becomes easier to believe these things about ourselves and live as though those negative things are true. Replacing these negative scripts with positive affirmations helps us see the good in ourselves and create healthier patterns in our life. If you want to read more about affirmations, I suggest this article if you want a tangible way to practice affirmations on your own click here. I use this card deck with my clients in a number of different exercises to practice affirmations and make them a part of your regular routine. If you would like to do some more personalized affirmation work in therapy with me, you can click my contact links at the top of the page.
In short, attachment theory is how we give and receive love based on how we have experienced it before. There are four main types of attachment: Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized and Secure. Based on where you first learned about attachment, you may hear slightly different names, but the premise is the same. Those with a predominantly anxious attachment struggle to self-soothe and are reaching out to their partner to co-regulate. Their main attachment need is to feel connected in their relationship and they fear abandonment.Those with a predominantly avoidant attachment prefer to self-regulate and are hesitant to co-regulate. Their main attachment need is to preserve their individuality and they fear losing their identity. A disorganized attachment goes back and forth between wanting their partner close and pushing them away. In many ways, a disorganized attachment is a mixture between the anxious and avoidant attachment. A secure attachment style is when the individual feels physically and emotionally safe in the relationship, trusts that they can get their needs met and is comfortable calming themselves on their own or with their partner. This is considered the healthiest attachment style.
By identifying these styles, we can better identify needs and behaviors that often play a big part in conflict. Whatever your attachment style is, you can always work towards a more secure attachment style. These paragraphs are just a snippet of this very broad topic. Working with me will not only allow us to explore more of this topic, but will also get personalized feedback about how attachment impacts your life specifically.
If you would like to learn more about attachment, you can read Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller.
You can also listen to this podcast episode to learn more.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
The three main components of CBT are looking at the cycle of how your thinking impacts your emotion and how that impacts your behaviors. We will identify what your individual cycles look like and what copings skills or other interventions we can use to In our work together we will look at core beliefs, negative self-talk, automatic thoughts, cognitive distortions, behavioral activation, develop effective coping skills and so much more. The main point of our work with CBT techniques is to become more aware of your thinking and behavioral patterns, so that we can engage in actions that fit with your goals and values. If you would like to learn more about CBT follow this link.
Enneagram, myers-briggs, 5 Love Languages are a few of the personality tests that we
Sometimes when you are out of sync with ourselves, it can feel hard to identify what your values, needs and preferences are. Personality tests can sometimes help you clarify these things. Like all things that we may do together in my practice, you have the right to decline any or all of these tests. Below are some links to check these tests out for yourself.
Enneagram Institute Definitions
Inner Child Work
For some, even thinking about your childhood may be painful. Inner child work is far less about revisiting painful memories from your childhood and much, much more about connecting with who your younger self was and what you needed at that time. Also, the younger self that you are connecting to does not have to be you as a child it can be you in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or even yesterday. To connect with these versions of yourself, I will guide you through visualizing and interacting with yourself at that age. The podcast (Therapy Thoughts by Tiffany Roe) below explains all this beautifully.
Click the link to learn more about inner child work.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
If you have been attending or researching therapy for some time, you have likely heard of EMDR. Maybe you’re not entirely sure what it is though. I would love to clear that up for you.
Many people hear about EMDR in regards to trauma and it is certainly used to treat trauma. However, it can also be used to help with any sort of thinking or behaviors that are not serving you well. Also, trauma is not always the abuse, car accidents and combat that we envision. Really what we are working to desensitize and reprocess is anything that was interpreted as less than nurturing and was stored dysfunctionally. The way that we help desensitize and reprocess this is through bilateral stimulation.
Bilateral Stimulation or back and forth movement is done through tapping, moving eyes back and forth, hearing a tone in one ear and then the other is a part of how we process information. When you engage in this movement in EMDR, you are able to desensitize and reprocess your traumatic memories by revisiting them in your mind.
If this explanation leaves you with even more questions, you can head over to my EMDR specialty page (coming soon). Or you click the link at the top of the page to send me an email or give me call. From there we can set up a free 15 phone consultation call where I can answer your questions and we can see if we would be a good fit. I would love to help address your questions and concerns.
What to Expect In Session
Curious about what your sessions will look like? Well, let me tell you. After you complete the first session paperwork online, you will have your first session.
In our first session, we will go over the finer details of the paperwork, address any questions and then jump into what is bringing you into therapy.
Our second session, we will complete a family map, so that I can understand where your strong and tense relationships are, what major events you have experienced in your life and patterns in family dynamics. We will also discuss your supportive friendships.
Our third session, we will get specific in setting the goals that you have for therapy.
Throughout these sessions and in the sessions that follow we will also be discussing what is going on for you and what you are currently needing based on what you’re experiencing. All while giving you tools along the way.
Check out more individual therapy specialities below.