Are You Ready For Marriage?

Congratulations on your engagement! After searching for the right person for years, you’ve finally found the person you weren’t sure even existed! Being engaged and considering engagement can be such an exciting time! You may also know that this is such an important time to be aware of the realities of marriage and the true nature of you and your partner.

Most things in your relationship are great, that's why you're engaged. But you may still have some nagging questions about the relationship and/or how to best prepare for the years ahead. That is likely what brought you here; you want to be aware and grounded before entering the biggest commitment of your life. Some doubts may cross your mind from time to time and you wonder how normal they are. Is this cold feet or something bigger? If this is your experience, these thoughts are likely growing in frequency and intensity. It is time to get honest before the big day. I can help!

Pre-Wedding Concerns Might Show Up As

Trouble Sleeping
Feeling anxious
Wanting some space
Wondering if other people's comments about the relationship have some merit
Frequently searching online for signs that could explain or normalize what you're going through
Doubting the relationship or having second thoughts about getting married

If these bullet points resonate with you it might be time to seek some clarity with premarital therapy. Check out the next section to learn more about what premarital therapy looks like and to schedule your free phone consult.

What to Expect in Session

If you're interested in working with me, the first step is to use the button at the end of this section to schedule a free 20 minute phone consult. I do an individual phone consult with each partner to make sure it feels like a good fit for both of you.

If we're a good fit, I will email you the link for the client portal, where you will create a login, complete your first session paperwork, complete your premarital assessments and request your appointments.

In the first session, I start by asking you about how you met and what the story of your relationship has been so far. Then, we will discuss what communication looks like in your relationship. In between your first and second sessions you will complete the Gottman Connect assessment and the Prepare and Enrich premarital assessment. In the second session, I will meet with just one of you to get a clearer understanding of your family history, friend group and your experience in the relationship. Basically, I want to know what your world looks like and who supports you. In the third session, the format is the same, except that I meet with the other partner. Fourth session, the three of us are back together again to come up with some goals for therapy and to start to go over the results of the assessments.

The outline of our ongoing sessions will follow the layout of the Prepare and Enrich assessment that both you and your partner will complete. It will take us 9 sessions to complete the work associated with the assessment. We will look at everything from your personality traits, stressors, housework, sex, how to deal with stress, family dynamics, values and more. We’ll also incorporate anything else that you bring to session that feels important to planning your future.

If you are interested in pre-engagement therapy and do not yet want to complete the Prepare and Enrich assessment, we can start by having you both complete the Gottman Connect assessment. The Gottman Connect assessment will highlight the areas of your relationship that are strong indicators of a lasting relationship as well as the areas that may be a hindrance to the longevity of your relationship. These are areas that Dr. John and Julie Gottman have identified in their decades of research on what causes couples to have lasting marriages.

Benefits of Premarital and Pre-Engagement Therapy

Gaining a professional perspective about your relationship
The use of assessments to deep dive into the strengths and potential challenges of your relationship (Gottman Connect Assessment and/or Prepare and Enrich Assessment)
Married couples that attend premarital therapy are more likely to last as a couple
Supportive reality check for your relationship while you are in the infatuation stage of your relationship
Help navigating current challenges in your relationship
Developing a plan for future challenges in your relationship
Strengthening your bond through improved communication and connection
A place to vent about wedding planning stress

Life After Premarital Therapy

It is my mission to help you enter into married life feeling clear, confident and calm. Or at least as calm as wedding planning will allow. :)

Marriage can be a beautiful and secure place where you and your partner co-create your own world that supports your values and goals. And it will take some work to get there.

In our work, I will educate you both on the most effective ways to communicate, resolve conflict and connect more deeply. I will send you pdfs, assessments, articles, etc to help you remember what we have worked on even after our time together is over. We will also practice new skills in session. Skills like how to show up for your partners emotions even if you're not so comfortable with emotions yourself. How to break out of the negative patterns you two get into. How to notice and respond to your own emotions. With this work I will help you two become both aligned and attuned, so that you can experience peace and safety in your relationship outside of our sessions. This way when life gets hard you will have the tools to navigate the difficulties together.

Premarital Therapy With Me Is NOT

Telling you not to go to bed angry
Instructing you to just schedule date nights
Preaching, "Happy wife, happy life"
Informing you that you are compatible or incompatible

If this sounds good to you, use the button below to schedule your phone consults, so we can start our work together. I look forward to seeing you soon!

Premarital Therapy Intensives

If you're thinking, "That sounds great, but we're short on time", worry not! Premarital therapy intensives are great for people who want to knock out the premarital work in one day's time.

A premarital intensive covers all of the work mentioned here in one, 6-hour day. We are able to cover more ground, more quickly because we don't have a week between each 1 hour session and we don't have to spend valuable parts of each hour catching up or winding down.

Also, you will complete your assessments and some pre-intensive paperwork before our intensive, so that we are prepped to jump right in on our intensive day.

During your intensive, snacks and beverages will be provided for you. Your day will start at 9am, we will do 3 hours of work, break for one hour for lunch on your own and we will return in the afternoon for the next 3 hours of premarital work.

You will leave the intensive with your journal full of notes, clear next steps complete with supplemental pdfs, podcast recs, relationship rituals and a therapy-related gift to really help bring the work home. Not to mention feeling that there is a greater understanding between you and your partner and feeling more confident about your future marriage.

We will have one follow up session after the intensive to see how things have been going for the two of you since we finished our work. This is included in the intensive price.

If this sounds like the right option for you, use the appointment button below to set up your free consult! Then we can plan out your intensive.

Whether you are ready to start working with me in Arvada Colorado or you still have some questions, I encourage you to schedule a free 20 minute phone consult using the button below.