EMPOWERED THERAPY

I help anxious, overachievers create closeness without the anxiety.

 

My clients struggle as you do. Despite being smart, capable, and willing to do the work, life is hard.

 

When they first come in, they feel like they are in a holding pattern with their partner. Like they are two ships passing in the night. 

 

They know that not everything is wrong. The day-to-day tasks are completed without issue, but they know the relationship just doesn’t feel as good as it used to.

 

They often feel like they have taken a backseat to other priorities in their partner’s life. And they are over it. No longer are they willing to be second place to their partner’s work, to-do list, insecurities, hobbies, you name it. Feeling like something else is taking their spot in the relationship is spurring frequent anxiety within them. They are ready for new and healthier patterns in their relationship, whether that is through individual or couples therapy.

 

While they are mostly keeping the peace at home, at other times they are having arguments filled with criticism and defensiveness without any clear solution. They often feel like they are continually reaching for their partner. Reaching for them to spend quality time with them, to help out at home, or for emotional support. But they feel like their partner keeps pulling away. It is devastating. 

 

The worst is when their partner goes silent, the distance feels unbearable. It’s when they want to reach for them the most. Sometimes gently and timidly and other times loudly and angrily. 

 

They didn’t sign up for this. They resent the feeling of being second fiddle in their own relationship.

 

Truly, they just want to feel like their partner is their friend again. Like they can feel at ease when they are around, have inside jokes and date nights. They want to connect emotionally. And they don’t want to be the only one initiating important conversations and emotional connection. They want their partner to reach for them too! Such things are a distant memory at this point.

 

When they sense their partner’s avoidance, they wonder if they were being ridiculous to ever expect the closeness that they crave.

 

Their persistent fears about what their partner is prioritizing over them gets in the way of the life that they want in so many ways. They aren’t the kind of partner that they want to be. They are constantly over-functioning for their partner and family while also being distracted by their concerns about what is happening in their relationship. They feel like they are failing in their relationship. If they’re being honest, they’re being more critical than they would like. At times, they are scared that their reactions are making things worse. And their confidence in their partnership is tanking. 

 

They may even be wondering if they should end the relationship or if they can make it work. It’s terrifying to consider. They weren’t supposed to get to this point. Failing isn’t their thing. Not for an overachiever like them.

 

They’ve read relationship books, listened to podcasts, searched for articles on the internet and pondered every IG post related to their concerns. They often try hard to put their best foot forward to give their relationship the chance it deserves.

 

Perfectionism is haunting them while they try to make sense of the brokenness in their relationship. They hope they can mend things by being “good enough” while also hating the pressure of trying to be “good enough”. 

 

They ask themselves why do they always have to be the one holding things together? They want to feel relaxed in their relationship and feel like there is room to be themselves again.

 

Before they came to see me, they wondered if they could fix it on their own. They worried that they were overreacting because it wasn’t ALL bad. And they were pretty certain that other people had it worse. Being caught between these racing thoughts felt nearly debilitating at times.

 

But they still had hope that things could get better. And they listened to that inkling that told them that things could be different. They reached out and got the support they needed, so things could really change.

 

Like my clients, you deserve to laugh with your partner again, to feel comfortable and cozy just hanging out at home, to understand one another’s emotions, to know that your partner has your back, and to find answers to your problems TOGETHER. 

 

Restored intimacy is not out of your reach. You don’t have to feel like roommates.

 

If you want to feel emotionally close to your partner, I would love to help you get there.

 

Call or email now. You don’t have to suffer. I can help. In individual or couples therapy.