How To Shorten Your Time In Therapy

Written By Ashley Gray, LCSW, MFTC

As a therapist, I understand that my clients eventually want to get to a place where they don't see me again or at least see me less frequently. It is totally understandable. Eventually, clients want to apply that work on their own without regularly going to therapy

While the length of time that you spend in therapy depends on so many different factors (original concerns, life circumstances, trauma, etc) there are some things that can help you make the most of your time.

Also, I want to mention that you don't have to shorten your time in therapy. There is no prize for reaching your goals faster. What is most important is that you achieve the outcomes that are most meaningful to you, no matter how long that takes.

However, if you would like to shorten your time in therapy, this post can provide a few tips that might help.

What Can Help Shorten My Time in Therapy?

Some patterns that I have noticed in my work is that when clients show up with intention and practice the habits below they tend to reach their goals more quickly.

• Completing therapy "homework" in a timely manner. This can be anything from journaling to establishing new habits, to having hard conversations, etc.

• Be honest with your therapist about what is working for you and what isn't working for you.

• Ask questions when you don't understand yourself or your therapist.

• Regularly reflecting on your patterns and holding yourself accountable through actions. For instance, if you notice that you get defensive when you disagree with your partner, instead of doubling down on why you do it, work on catching yourself getting defensive. Then, apologize to your partner and tell them that you want to try responding to what they said again, but without being defensive this time.

• Engaging in a therapy intensive. A therapy intensive is day that you spend with therapist doing very focused therapuetic work that is guided by your specific therapuetic goals. Several months worth of work can be achieved in one intensive.

• Having clear goals with your therapist that you two revisit periodically throughout your time together.

• Celebrate your progress and show appreciation for your partner's efforts and successes if you're in couples therapy.

I'd like to expand on these tips a bit more. Of course, things will come up that make it difficult to complete homework. Things get busy, people get sick or you feel confused by what you're being asked to do. Whenever there is a barrier, whether internal or external, bring it to your therapist. Your therapist wants to work with you to make sure that the work that you're doing is actually serving you.

This extends to the work as a whole and not just the homework. If the way that therapy is going isn't working for you, let them know. Then your therapist can discuss it with you and you can work out a new plan or approach. If you decide that this therapist isn't the right fit for you, let them know and they can give you referrals for therapists that would be a better fit.

It may sound obvious, but in addition to speaking up, ask questions when you don't understand. It is very common for therapists to get stuck in their academic minds and not explain things in a way that is relatable. Most of us realize this about ourselves and we're happy to clear up any confusion if we get stuck in that pattern.

Just as your therapist needs to own their patterns, owning yours is important as well. It can be tricky to zoom out and identify your own patterns, find a new way to engage and then apply those new behaviors. It takes time and lots of practice. And as much work and time as it takes, it still makes things go faster than if you didn't reflect and hold yourself accountable at all.

If you really want to speed things up, therapy intensives are a day that is dedicated to your and you therpeutic goals and they can allow you to do months of worth of work in a single day. This is possible because you don't have to start each session catching up on what has happened over the last week. You also don't spend time wind down every 50 minutes, you just get to have several sessions back-to-back. With this approach, you can achieve your goals much more quickly with intensives.

I general, having a clear goal clarifies your objective and helps keep you focused on the work ahead whether you do an intensive or regular weekly therapy.

Throughout your therapy journey, showing appreciation for your partner's efforts encourages them to keep going when things are hard and it is also helpful feedback that helps them hone in their work. Your partner probably also wants to do a good job and part of how they know they are doing well is by hearing from you that their efforts are seen and appreciated.

The Importance of Effort

In addition to these tips, I encourage you not to underestimate the power of effort. Whether it is in individual therapy or couples therapy, effort makes the difference between making progress and not making progress. Truly, all of tips above show effort. Effort is your hope in action during therapy. Of course, we all get busy, we all have things that get in the way of the work that we want to do. We all have plateaus at times. Effort is being committed to not giving up and trying again after the plateaus. Just promising yourself to get 1% better over and over again until you reach your goals is enough. As you put in the effort and make progress, you start to build more confidence and skills. This strengthened confidence motivates you to keep going even when it is hard.

I also encourage you to celebrate each of these wins. This can also help you build momentum and help you stay focused on your goals. The feeling of accomplishment can do a lot for you, so don't ignore your successes.

And don't ignore your partner's efforts and acomplishments in therapy. Celebrate their work as well. When you celebrate together, you can start to feel even closer to one another.

What If I Want To Continue Therapy After I Meet My Goals?

If you find that you meet your goals, but you want to continue with therapy, be sure to communicate this with your therapist. You and your therapist can have a meaningful conversation about whether it is in your best interest to pivot to a different goal, end therapy or change your frequency in therapy. Sometimes it makes sense to end therapy once your goals are met and then have a check-in therapy a few months later for maintenance. Or reduce your session frequency to once a month. There are a number of options and everyone needs something different.

To Wrap Up

Remember, you don't NEED to get through therapy quickly. It is most important that your work in therapy is meaningful and impactful, rather than quick. But, if efficiency in therapy is your goal, I hope these tips help you make progress towards your goals in way that fits your timeline.

If you would like to work with me in therapy, schedule your free 20 minute consult here.

I'm wishing you the best on your journey! :)

This post is written by Ashley Gray, a licensed therapist in Arvada, Colorado. Ashley works with individuals and couples using Gottman Method Couples Therapy, EMDR Trauma Therapy, Prepare and Enrich Premarital Therapy, attachment focused therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy, Couples Intensives and EMDR Intensives. As a therapist, she is passionate about helping people build healthy relationships and supporting people with the resources they need. In her free time, Ashley hikes, paddle boards, reads, spends time with her husband and her cuddly dog. For more information about Ashley and her practice, click here.