Therapy for People Pleasers

You are the one that always shows up for your friends and goes above and beyond whenever someone needs help. You love people, positive feedback, bringing joy to others and you love to help. The thing is, you sometimes want others to show up for you, too. Relationships are starting to feel lopsided, like you do most of the giving and caring. It is beginning to suck the energy right out of you. Showing up is getting harder because you just aren’t sure how much you have left to give. Resentment toward loved ones is starting to show up as you begin to feel more disconnected from yourself and the things that you want. For some time now, you have also hated conflict, making people feel bad and letting people down. All of this makes it really hard to state a boundary and ask for what you want and need. You feel forgotten, lonely and unseen, but you don’t know where to begin when asking for what you need.

Lazy Morning
Audience Applauding
Beach Cushions
Sticky Notes
Female Lecturer

Symptoms of People Pleasing

People pleasing shows up uniquely for everyone, below are some common symptoms.

  • Denying you own emotions or needs

  • Constant striving/overachieving for approval

  • Unresolved conflict

  • Putting on a happy face for others even if that isn’t how you feel

  • Apologizing when you didn't do anything wrong

  • Difficulty saying "no"

  • Not having enough time for yourself

  • Often resenting others instead of stating your needs

  • Low self-esteem

  • Trouble identifying your true self

Therapy for People Pleasing Can Help You Find Your True Voice

As a people pleaser, you are so used to putting everyone else first. In therapy, you and your needs will be the priority. At times, this may feel uncomfortable. You may feel like something is screaming inside of you that it is important to be kind, to take care of others, that you’re being selfish and deserting the people in your life. The fear that you cannot both take care of yourself and be kind to others is specifically what we will be untangling. Focusing on you is a necessary step in beginning to look at your strengths, your past, and your areas for growth that all contribute to your people pleasing. Your people pleasing tendencies have served you well at times, you did develop them out of survival after all. Nowadays, your people pleasing is hurting you by keeping you from what you actually want. What if you can have what you want? What if you can be genuinely kind to others and take care of yourself as well? Through therapy you will get to keep what is good/helpful/strong/beautiful/true about you and shed the guilt you feel when taking care of yourself.

 

As we start to nurture this healthier version of you, we will focus on what is unique about you. Your values, preferences, dreams, needs, etc. We may draw from personality and attachment assessments, the enneagram and being observant of what feels best to you. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries that are respectfully communicated to others while ultimately honoring yourself. You will get to practice assertive communication in session as well as process the feelings that come up while doing so.

 

Let’s help you face the fear of shame and let you unfold into your truest self! To get started click one of the buttons below to reach out. Still have questions!? Use the same buttons below to send me your questions or schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation.

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For a breakdown of what your sessions will look like, click the button below and scroll to the What to Expect in Session section.

Emotionally Unavailable

Online Therapy

Anxiety

Christian Counseling